Welcome to the first edition of what will be a regular posting on the Finding Erotica blog page, ‘Things We Like’.  We will share our affinity for everything from books to music to sex toys to whatever catches our eye.  Be certain, we will not overlook things that that titillate our senses and stimulate our minds. So, we dedicate our initial post to the noted sex therapist Esther Perel.  Her work inspired us to write books and create a website.  We intend to offer a safe place for interested readers to explore erotic fantasy, gain sexual healing and restore passion to relationships mired in emotional slumps. Esther Perel is everywhere these days.  For example, she appears on popular TED talks and has her own online podcast.  In addition, Ms. Perel appears live at one of her many lectures or workshops.  

Mating in Captivity

  Initially, we discovered Ms. Perel through her 2006 bestselling book, “Mating in Captivity.”  Neither of us knew a book about relationships that was as illuminating as “Mating in Captivity.”  Finally, somebody really got it.  We couldn’t get enough. Not only is Esther Perel’s work instrumental to the inception of Finding Erotica, but her teaching is prominent in our mission, books, and, now, our blog.  For example, the opening scene in chapter one of “Finding Erotica Book Two: Happy Ending” finds Ms. Erotica reading “Mating Captivity” poolside in Cabo.  To her dismay, just as she finishes the following passage, Ms. E is interrupted by a stranger.  “For those who aspire to accelerate their heartbeat periodically, I give them the score: excitement is interwoven with uncertainty…” Unfortunately, their interaction doesn’t go well. When the stranger finally leaves, Ms. E returns to the book and comments to herself.  I want excitement but I also want a little more certainty—the horns of a dilemma. Unknowingly, Ms. Erotica expresses what Esther Perel says is a problem found at the heart of most relationships.  Clearly, the problem lies at the heart of Ms. E’s long term connection with MK.  Ultimately, we want security but also want to let go. Ironically, a struggle exists between the need for stable love and the desire for erotic adventure.  

Lost Passion

  Often, relationships start out hot!  Sex is great, romance abounds, conversations extend into the night, and dreams start to come true.  But, something happens over time. Before we know it, sex becomes routine, passion wanes, conversation feels repetitive, reality dampens dreams and communication shuts down.  Not surprisingly, a partner desires something different, new, adventurous, mysterious, and, unfortunately, something outside the relationship. Can we recover lost passion?  How do we heal from love’s disappointments and heartbreaks?  In what way can we breathe new life into long term relationships? Esther Perel, in one of her most insightful comments says it starts with reviving imagination.  Ultimately, “sex is about where you can take me, not what you can do to me.”  

Passion Recovery

According to the author, an unleashed erotic imagination transforms the ordinary to extraordinary.  To state another way, unfettered imagination is an agent for “transcendent travel”. Similarly, Finding Erotica Literary Series is an available vehicle ready to take readers on that “transcendent” journey.  Our books open erotic imagination.   In turn, we take readers to places where healing, re-discovery and, in some cases, discovery is found. While passion may wane, it doesn’t have to disappear. It’s within us waiting to be imagined. Before anyone succumbs to fantasies desiring greener pastures, read our blog post entitled, “When the Home Fire Stops Burning, Consider an Affair.” And before you give up on passionate love with a long time partner, check out Esther Perel.