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Finding Erotica Book One

Book 2 Chapter 4: For You MK

“Meet me on Skype MK.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Ms. E greets him online in her birthday suit. She takes him from the bedroom into her bathroom. He watches as Ms. E sits down on the toilet to pee. MK hears her urine splash into the toilet water, sees her sleepy eyes struggle to adjust to her waking

state, her breasts extend forward, her hips surround the seat, her thighs slightly parted so she can wipe herself clean. “You like that don’t you MK?” Her first post-nap smile lights up the yellow bathroom walls.

“You know I do Sweet Beauty.”

Her smile grows, “I do know MK.”

He watches as she stands, watches as she turns, watches as she bends and leans into her shower. Ms. E adjusts the laptop so MK can enjoy a full view. He watches as she steps into her tub, watches as hot water runs down the curves of her sculpted

figure, stares at her glistening chocolate complexion.

White soap suds cover her pussy, adorn her nipples, the white froth on her breasts provides an alluring contrast to her dark brown skin. Ms. E glances at My’Kuyah’s image in her screen. She leans back against the shower wall, her fingers get lost

between her thighs, get lost in the depths of the white soap suds, get lost in the folds of her pussy. Her pussy emerges from the suds like the sun breaking through cottony clouds. Her fingers separate her lips, she fondles her sex, her body pushes back

against her hand. MK’s erection lifts his computer from his lap. Ms. E pinches her nipples, squeezes her breasts, her hands make love with her body. MK watches. The sexiest woman he will ever know delights him with sinuous movement, teases him,

touching places, spreading spaces that she knows MK covets.

Book 2 Chapter 3: Forbidden Zone

“First time?” asks the bartender, a rather nondescript middle aged white fellow.

“Not my first time in a club but, yes, my first time at this one, am I that obvious?”

“Just from seeing you on the tour, otherwise you look right at home. Don’t be afraid to ask me anything. I’m here to make sure you have a good time. OK?”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Ms. E takes another sip on her drink. “One quick question, can I check out the Forbidden Zone before I decide whether or not I want to trade in my cute outfit for a towel?”

He leans forward and says in a low voice. “Usually no, but it’s early, go ahead, take a quick peek, and, yes, that is a very cute outfit.”

“Aweee, thank you.” Ms. Erotica steps down off the barstool and walks up about three quarters of the way to the Forbidden Zone, just high enough where she can peer over the edge of the elevated floor. She looks back at the bartender who motions her to go further. She blows him a kiss and walks to the top of the stairs. What Ms. E sees astounds her: a variety of beds from a plush canopy style to a swinging red leather hammock suspended at four ends by heavy chains and lots of interesting choices in between. Hanging from one wall is the most diverse set of sex toys, implements and devices she has ever seen accumulated in one location. Floor to ceiling mirrors run the length of the other full wall.

Erotica returns to her spot at the bar, drains her drink and asks for another. The bartender quickly obliges. “Pretty amazing, right?”

“I’m speechless, and rarely am I speechless.”

“Think you’ll try on that towel?”

Ms. E’s eyes sparkle with mischief, “I might have to.”

Book 2 Chapter 3: One More Try

A knock on her office door brings Ms. E back to reality. Her best friend from work, Opal, sticks her head in. “Girl I got something you are going to want to check out.”

Opal closes the door behind and leans forward across Ms. E’s desk. “You know how you’ve been saying that here you are a single girl for a moment and that you needed some excitement?”


“Wait a minute, let me think of your exact words, ‘O, here I am a single girl for the first time in too long, I need some excitement, something new, something edgy. If I can’t get any, surely there has to be a place where I can simply watch other people

getting off! I just want to watch two people fuck. Is that asking too much?’ You recall that conversation?”

“Stop messing with me Opal, of course I do.”

“Well, I think Ms. O has found the answer to your prayers.”

Trying to keep her voice down while bursting with curiosity, Ms. E implores her friend to share what she has found.

Opal describes a new dungeon she heard about while getting her hair done. “Live up close fucking and you can sit right there in the room with them…if that’s what you’re into.”

“I just might have to check it out. You want to go with me?”

“No, I can’t. You know how it is: I can’t be sneaking out to no dungeon while I got a jealous man at home, but you should go and let me know what you find.”

Ms. Erotica googles the spot–not a whole lot of info to be found online. Curiosity gets the best of her. Putting aside plans for a much needed kicked back Friday evening at home, Ms. Erotica decides to give this place a look-see.

Book 2 Chapter 1: I Just Am

A festive atmosphere surrounds the family cocktail hour. Stunning late afternoon sun enriches the already resplendent greens and blues of the ocean and sky. Ms. Erotica sits back and lets it all wash over her: the newlywed’s laughter, her mother’s proud smile, a chorus of children’s excited voices, and her father’s loving embrace of everyone within reach. Life is good. The pressures of her daily world back home have stayed back home and left her to enjoy the simple pleasures of family, love and the beauty of the tropics.

Her mother sits down next to her. “You look different, more relaxed, something…I can’t quite put my finger on it. You look good baby girl.”

Ms. Erotica lays her head on her mother’s shoulder. “Thanks Mama, I feel good. Something is different and I can’t put my finger on it either. But that’s OK, I’m just going to bask in it while I can.”

On their way out to dinner, Ms. Erotica runs into the man from earlier in the day… “Who was that?” her brother asks.

“Just some guy.”

“Ooh, sis’…”

“No it’s not like that, believe me.”

“Then why you looking so…so like you’re in love?”

“Because I am,” she cuts off his next question, “I just am.”

Book 2 Chapter 1: Taking Risks with Love

Ms. Erotica usually never approaches strange men but decides this time to take a little risk. Her heartbeat moves into another gear. She heads towards the mystery man hoping to explore a little uncertainty.

“Mind if I sit with you?”

He turns to look at the source of the sexy female voice that has punctured his interior monologue concerning the sedity state of modern women. His view of her is mottled by the bright sun in his eyes. “No, please, have a seat.”

She sits next to him, sun behind her. He squints for a better look at the details of her face. The broad brim of her hat blown by the ocean breeze blocks his view.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” he says.

“You here on vacation?” Ms. Erotica places her hand above her large sunglasses in order to minimize the glare.

“Just a quick getaway, recharge the batteries, catch my breath, you know.”

“I do know,” she says, “I’m trying to do the same thing…”

…He covers her with a light blanket. Kind kisses carried on a tropical breeze graze the nape of her neck, her ears, and her kitchen. She curls deeper into his embrace. His free hand floats along her yearning body pausing to massage a knot in her upper back, to caress her breasts, to trace circles around the curves of her round, brown bottom. She feels him slip his hand under the waist strap of her thong bikini. His fingers inch their way down her bootie, pull her thong aside and explore the wetness that gathers between her thighs. She feels his tender touch penetrate her soft lips and his loving fingers stay there, the only movement the subtle rocking of her hips like waves upon a receptive beach.

She wants his dick inside her body but doesn’t say a thing…

Chapter 26: Zora Redux

After a quick stop at his local pharmacy, he heads to meet Zora. She’s sitting at a sun drenched table waiting for him. Her stunning presence seems to slow down time as she unfolds her long legs from under the table, rises from the chair and glides

towards MK to greet him with a big hug.

“So nice to see you Zora, thanks for getting together.”

“My pleasure MK, it feels like forever since I last saw you! I was starting to think I wouldn’t hear from you so I was very excited when you called.” She takes hold of his arm and leads him to the warm space she’s reserved.

“So what’s going on MK? How’s Ms. E? What have you guys been up to?”

“I’m not sure where to start. It’s been quite a ride trying to make up for all the time we lost over the years. We’ve been spending as much time together as possible. The only problem is the distance, you know, she lives in LA and I live here. How about

you Z, what have you been up to?”

“Since we last saw each other, a lot MK—I feel like I have a whole new life. We’ll get to that, right now I’m more interested in hearing about you and Ms. E.”

After a solid 20 minutes of animated conversation, Zora gets up to refill her coffee cup. MK watches every graceful step. Standing at the café’s counter, she turns back to MK and smiles when she sees him following her glide across the room. “You want

anything?” she asks.

MK shakes his head “no”; his mind says “yes, you.” He catches himself and asks when she returns “So how do you deal with long distance relationships?”

…“Hmmm…I guess this is when I tell you about my whole new life: I’m poly.” She pauses for a moment and looks directly into MK’s eyes. “You might have guessed that, right?”

Chapter 25: You Too?

The phone rings. It’s one of MK’s best buddies, Jimmie, calling to remind him of a birthday gathering scheduled for the next evening. They’ll be joined by some out of town visitors all of whom grew up playing football together. Three of the fellas went on to play in the NFL.

“Sounds great Jimmie, what should I bring?”

“No need to bring anything but a few stories to share. See you tomorrow.”

It’s a joyous occasion. Great food, lots of beverages and a whole bunch of hilarious tales from the past. MK ends up talking with an out town guest who was a legend in southern football circles before going on to enjoy a stellar career in the pros.

Inevitably the conversation finds its way to two topics popular among men of their era: aging and women. After sharing what have become obligatory anecdotes about ailments, medications and friends who have passed away, the legend confides that he used “to get rock hard and stay that way all night.” He balls his hand into a fist and extends his forearm up at a 90 degree angle from his elbow, “my shit hasn’t gotten hard like that in a long time.”

“Prostate issues?” MK asks.

The football legend lowers his fist and takes a sip of his drink. He doesn’t have to say “yes.”

Another former baller, Marcus, sitting close by overhears the conversation and shares that the same thing happened to him. “Man, I began to doubt my manhood. Forget about getting rock hard, I couldn’t even get hard and when your dick ain’t getting hard for 13 months, let’s face it, you start to have doubts. I started to think that my wife would look for something else and, to tell you the truth, there was a part of me that wouldn’t have blamed her. Thank God she and I were able to talk about it.”

The Carolina legend chimes in with “And thank God for Cialis.”

Chapter 22: A Hike in the Woods

After a delicious breakfast, Ms. E says, “MK, when I woke up this morning and was lying in bed I thought about what you said last night that sex is just one part of what we share and in case I didn’t make it clear, I love having sex with you. In fact, that’s one of the problems is that I love it so much I don’t want it to end. But I think that we need to enjoy other kinds of things together. So, today, we’re going to one of my favorite spots, a place I haven’t been to since forever. I’m taking you on a hike, you ready for that?”

“Ms. E, one thing I have to say about you is that you are full of surprises. Heck yeah, let me get ready. Lead on my Sweet Beauty.”

They drive about an hour and one half out of town, maneuver into a spot in a parking area and head towards an old wooden sign that points to a hanging bridge spanning a gushing river. A beautiful 4 mile trek alongside rushing water through a lush green forest, delivers them to a point below a majestic waterfall that thunders 100’ over a cliff into the stream below. The trail ahead climbs through rocks and ends at a protected spot behind the fall.

Ms. E shoots MK a look, “let’s go MK.”

He hesitates. Ms. E takes off through the rocks. When she turns back to check on MK, she finds him right behind her. After about a 20 minute scramble they reach their destination. Sitting on a flat ledge, they marvel at the view through the cascading water to the river and valley below.

“Amazing Ms. E, I see why this is one of your favorite sports: absolutely gorgeous.” Her mile wide smile says it all.

“I was afraid for a quick minute that you weren’t going to follow me MK.”

“One look at your cute bootie in those shorts was all the motivation I needed.”

“I’m so glad you decided to climb up here. Gorgeous, huh?”

“Better than gorgeous.”

After pointing out a palate of details to each other, Ms. E leads the way back down. By the time they reach the river trail, their shorts are streaked with mud. The walk to the car goes all too quickly even with a number of stops to appreciate where they are: deep green pools fed by crystal clear water; sunlight dancing across the rippling stream; the scent of cedars mingled with mountain fresh air.

Once home, they shower, change into clean clothes and prepare a taco dinner together. Binge watching of favorite shows follows. Ms. E controls the remote stopping at regular intervals to comment on what they watch followed by deep, extended laughter. The world is right. Their time together is rich. They indulge in the simple joy of just being together. During a commercial break, MK turns to Ms. E and says, “as long as I have moments like today, like now, with you, I’m good with all the rest.”

She kisses his forehead, “I know MK, so am I.”

When bedtime beckons they fall asleep in each other’s arms, content with sharing a wonderful loving full day.

Chapter 21 Pillow Talk: First Marriage

“MK, tell me about your first wedding. What was that like?”

“How so?”

“I mean, was it big, small, did you have fun, do you have any good memories of it?”

“It was fun. A lot of people came. We partied for three days, great food, you know how a wedding is.”

She turns her attention to MK, “I hear you saying ‘it was fun, but…”

“Yes, a big but, and I’m not talking about the size of anybody’s bootie.” He reaches under the sheets to squeeze hers. “Keep in mind you called the night before and the timing of that phone call from way out of the blue put me into a deep funk. Whatever doubts I had about my impending nuptials, and I had some serious doubts, got a whole lot bigger after I heard your voice. It didn’t help that I was two hours late to my bachelor party because my ‘ex’ insisted I do something about water not properly draining in the laundry room sink immediately. It’s hard to look back and think about the wedding being fun knowing that the marriage that followed was such a catastrophe. What about you?”

“Mine was wonderful MK. We had a blast. It was a big party, everybody danced, we drank, I wore a beautiful gown…it was great.”

“Why are you asking about my wedding?”

“No reason, just seemed that since you had been entertaining me with all those funny ‘first time’ stories that you probably had some good ones about your first wedding, that’s all.”

MK looks away, silent.

“Hey, MK…” Ms. E reaches for his arm. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know, just brings up memories I like to leave behind.”

“They have a way of catching up to us, don’t they old man.”

“Yes, Ms. E, they do, as much as we might try to keep them locked away somewhere.”

“If you were to get married again, what would you want it to be like?”

Chapter 20: Pillow Talk--First Orgasm Part Two

“OMG, you were scarred for life.”

“You got that right Ms. Erotica. But my scarring didn’t end there. After that joyous night we decided to take the next step and fuck each other. You talk about anticipation! It’s all we talked about. True to form I had no idea how to fuck a girl so I had my best friend, a guy credited with ‘de-flowering’ more girls in my hometown than anyone else to write down instructions for me.”

“Stop! I know you’re lying.”

“I swear as I lie naked next to you that I did Ms. E. He scribbled down step by step what I was supposed to do. The big night finally arrived, a Saturday, her parents were having a party upstairs: lots of laughter and music so we thought we’d be safe. Susie lay down under the pool table. I rolled a few billiard balls across the top in case anyone might be wondering what the hell we were doing all quiet downstairs. Holding my written instructions in one hand, I dropped my pants and tried to put my dick inside her tight little pussy. It kept flopping out and slapping against the cold linoleum floor. She would stroke me a few times getting me hard and then try to help me inside her body. No luck. Finally, I said ‘fuck it’ with the instructions and tried my best to enter Susie. I had her knees bent, my hands spreading her thighs, my bare ass trying to push my dick inside her much too dry pussy and her mother walked down the basement steps holding a meat and cheese tray. She saw my skinny white ass between her daughter’s legs, slipped from the shock of it all on the stairs, fell down, the meat and cheese tray went flying and she started yelling for her husband. I never got dressed so fast in my life. I sprinted out the back door knowing I had hell to pay.”

“MK, that’s hilarious, but it’s so sad. What happened?”

“The shit hit the fan. I ran out the back door as fast as I could. Her father called my father. I was put on lockdown for an eternity and we weren’t allowed to see each other after that.”

“What happened to Susie?”

“Same thing: forbidden love and unfortunately the incident confirmed every stereotype our parents had about inter-racial love.”

Chapter 20: Pillow Talk--First Orgasm

“Tell me about the first time you came?” she asks, lying naked next to him in bed, idly stroking his grateful dick.

“Probably a wet dream.”

She slaps his dick head. “No silly man, the first time you had an orgasm when you were awake, the first time with someone. Tell me about that.” Her hand resumes its gentle massage.

A smile extends across his face. “That’s easy. It was in junior high school, with my first girlfriend.”

“The first Black girlfriend you’ve told me about?”

“My first Black girlfriend was my first girlfriend.”

“In junior high?”


“And you ain’t been the same since.”

“Isn’t that the truth.” He leans forward and kisses her black nipples. “You know what they say…”

“Once you go Black…”

“I’m living proof.”

“Well what happened? Lord, sometimes you can take forever to tell a simple story.”

“Sometimes taking one’s time isn’t such a bad thing.”

She leans forward and licks his dick. “Point well made My’Kuyah. For that, I’m thankful. Now get on with the story if you don’t mind.”

“As I said,” he clears his throat to emphasize his point about patience, “we were in junior high, sneaking around, trying to be undercover. Actually, having to be undercover, it was the Civil Rights era. Her parents were cool, though. They’d let us hang out downstairs in their basement. Mom and Dad would be right upstairs and checked periodically to see if all was OK but they pretty much left us alone. We listened to records, played a little pool and messed around with each other.”

“Finally you are getting to the good part. Tell me about the messing around.”

“And we would mess around with each other…” MK cuts Ms. E a quick glance. She…”

“This girl have a name?”

“No, her parents never gave her one. Yes, she had a name.”

“I know they didn’t call the girl ‘she’, what was her name, please?”

“You probably won’t believe this, but it was ‘Susie’.”

“You’re right, I don’t. A sista’ named Susie.”

“Actually, Susan, but everybody called her Susie. Still do…Anyway, Susie would take off her panties, sit across from me and show me her pussy. I’ll never forget, thin brown lips barely covered with coils of black hair, she’d pull her lips apart and the most brilliant pink would shine out from between her dark delicate skin.–took my breath away. And if that wasn’t enough, she’d pull up her bra and show me her breasts, pretty round little things, when her nipples got hard those titties would stand straight up. First breasts I ever put in my mouth. I’ll never forget that either.”

Ms. Erotica circles her hands in a ‘let’s go on with the story’ motion.

“We spent hours doing nothing but looking and it wasn’t just her putting on a show, I’d pull my dick out of my pants and let her look as well.”

“Aren’t you the benevolent soul.”

“It was delicious prolonged torture. We’d whisper to each on the phone every night fantasizing about what we wanted to do with each other. We finally decided that we’d take our chances and make it all happen. It was a Saturday night. We started out like we always did playing a little pool, listening to Motown and looking at each other. Susie said she had a surprise for me. She was wearing my favorite dark green sweater… with nothing on underneath. When she lifted that sweater up over head, my hands flew to her breasts like a bee to a spring flower. My God, they felt so good. I rubbed my palms across her nipples and fondled what seemed like the most perfect breasts I would ever experience and did so to my heart’s content.

Then she said, ‘I have another surprise for you sweetheart.’

“She hopped onto the edge of the pool table and sat there with her legs spread. With deliberate, calculated slow movements she lifted the hem of her green and red scotch plaid skirt until it just barely covered her pussy—no panties on underneath! She took my hand and ran it between her thighs. She was wet. I didn’t know girls got wet. Shoot, I didn’t know much about anything to be honest but I knew enough not to ask anything that might jeopardize whatever was going to happen next. Susie knew some things, though, and she gave me my first lesson on how to make a girl cum. I had to put my hand over her mouth so she didn’t alarm the parents. I rolled billiard balls across the table to keep whatever suspicions they might have at bay. My dick was leaking by this point. We used to call it ‘pecker tracks,’ I was leaving them all over the inside of my pants.

Then she led me to the bathroom, unzipped my pants and took my dick out for a walk. Let me remind you, I never came before, never masturbated, I was as naïve as a young boy could be. Susie took juice from her pussy and saliva from her mouth, moistened her hand, wrapped it around my dick and rubbed up and down my erection. My knees buckled, I started sweating, I didn’t know if I was going to pee or go blind, I knew something was about to erupt but had no idea what and then I came. She squeezed every ounce of my cum into the toilet and I dropped to my knees in front of the porcelain throne. Being a good Catholic boy, I thought that anything that felt that good had to be bad. So, I started saying the Lord’s Prayer.”

Ms. E roars with laughter. “No you didn’t!”

“I swear I did.”

“What did Susie do?”

“She said, ‘what in the world are you doing?’ I said I was giving thanks for what felt like a religious experience. And then she laughed like you just did.”

Chapter 19: Pillow Talk--First Glimpse

The lovers linger in each other’s arms and share stories from their past. MK tells Ms. E about the first pussy he ever saw.

“It was my next door neighbor. I think we were both in second grade at the time. We made a deal. I’d show her mine and she agreed to show me hers. The first part went as planned. I pulled down my pants and let my dick peek over the top of my Fruit of the Loom briefs. She recoiled and gasped.

I took her hand and brought it close to my body. ‘Pull down my undies, you’ll get a better look.’ She complied with my request. ‘Go ahead, touch it, it’s OK.’

Again, she complied. Chills ran the length of our early adolescent bodies in the dank heat of a dark garage. My dick came alive like the mysterious Sea Monkeys of comic book ads expanding in virginal waters.

Her initial repulsion gave way to curiosity. Cautiously, she circled my dick head with her index finger and then followed an emerging vein down the length of my small but extended shaft. It was our first time, ever.

‘My turn,’ I announced rather abruptly.

She wasn’t sold on the idea.

‘I showed you mine, now I get to see yours. Remember?’

‘OK,” she replied, ‘but let’s get out of this garage, I’m hot.’

We exited through a side door and tried to hide behind a pear tree in the very back of the yard. ‘Not here,’ she protested, ‘somebody might see.’

I argued that no better place existed. ‘I’ll make it look like we’re playing.’

My suggestion temporarily eased her fears. I returned to the garage and emerged after a few seconds holding a coil of clothesline. ‘I’m going to tie you to the tree.’

Speechless, she followed my instructions and backed up to the weathered trunk. I circled cord around the tree until she was bound from the waist up. She squirmed and protested. ‘Shhh! Pretend like you’re having fun.’

I kneeled before her, lifted her skirt and pulled her panties down around her ankles. ‘What happened?’

My question startled her. ‘What do you mean? What’s wrong?

‘What happened to yours…to your thing…your pee pee?’

She started to cry. I dove in for a closer look at her chocolate hairless pussy, my fingers just about to separate her lips when BLAM! I was knocked to the ground by a ferocious slap to the side of my head: her mother, hair tied up in a kerchief, adorned in a flowered house dress dragged my butt to my house smacking me upside my head the whole time. Her daughter remained tied to the tree, panties down around bobby socks.”

Ms. Erotica roars with laughter rolling in MK’s arms. “No! Did that really happen?”

“Yes, I swear. I still have an involuntary reaction every time I see a pussy for the first time. It happened when I opened the glorious picture you sent me of little Miss Beauty between your legs. My head jerked violently to the left. Here, I’ll show you.” I crawl beneath the covers and settle between her naked thighs. “OK, I’m going to look at your pussy,” my head flies to left. I hear her laughter outside the sheets.

“So why are you revealing your youthful BDSM confessions to me this morning?”

“Because you need to know the true depth of my kinky desires…only kidding Beautiful, because I want you to role play that story with me, without me getting slapped so violently upside the head. I want your pussy to be the first one I ever see and I want my dick to be the first one you touch…plus I’m looking for a new reason to tie you up.”

“You know you don’t need a reason to do that you old pervert.”

Chapter 10: The Counter Part Two

“I do, guys always saying things like ‘no way I’m getting married again, that’s the last time I let a woman do me like that.’ You know I’m right. That’s what you think, isn’t it MK?”

He considers her question before responding. It’s safer that way. Don’t want to say the wrong thing and have a woman jump on it—worse yet, to have her bring it up later…’you remember that time we were talking and you said…’ No, he’s got to think this through.

“Well…” she wants an answer.

“Let me ask a question first. So, you’re saying that women get over things and are more ready to move on after they’ve been burned. They let go of things better than guys, right?”

“That’s right.”

“I’ll admit I’ve been a little gun shy since my divorce. I don’t want to just jump into something and have it turn out bad. So, yeah, I may be more cautious. But…”

“Oh, here we go with a ‘but’…but what dear man?”

“But if the right woman comes along, I like to think that I would still be willing to take the leap.”

“You mean get married?”

“No, not a leap into marriage necessarily, but a leap into a serious relationship while leaving a door open for a possible marriage some day.”

“Hmmm, your attorneys write that for you?” He doesn’t have to look to know her posture but he has to peek anyway so she doesn’t ask why he can’t look at her when she’s talking. Legs crossed, right index finger touching her cheek just below and to the side of her eye, lips pursed—exactly how he imagined. A smile spreads across his face.

“You find me amusing?”

“I wouldn’t say I find you amusing as much as I find you to be absolutely delightful, especially right now. May I kiss you?”

She shakes her head, her demeanor softens, “yes you may dear man.” A simple kiss leads to a passionate make out session. During a shared break for air he whispers, “You bring back an innocence to love that I thought was only reserved for folks much younger than us. Being with you makes me feel giddy, willing to believe that anything is possible and I thank you for that. Whether my attorney would approve or not, I love you dearly and want nothing more than to be with you for a long, long time.”

Ms. Erotica looks My’Kuyah directly in his eyes and says nothing for what feels like to him forever. Finally, she breaks her silence, “Can we watch the movie now?”

“Great idea.”

She sits on his lap, enveloped in his arms, he lets go only to feed her small bites of cobbler and to kiss her neck throughout the film. “Put your finger in me MK,” she purrs as he does so, her waiting pussy already wet. She turns to kiss him, “get me real wet.” His index finger joins his middle one and together they fuck her pussy while his thumb rubs her clit. The rhythm of her breathing increases along with the pace of his fingers. Chaka Khan’s soundtrack contribution “Sweet Thing” augments their lovemaking.

Chapter 10: The Counter

As mouthwatering as her sweet cream tastes, dinner presents its own delight: flame licked lamb chops rubbed with olive oil, garlic, rosemary and black pepper; grilled asparagus, a garlic and parmesan cheese laden Caesar salad and fingerling potatoes fried crispy in a wok tantalize their taste buds.

More candlelight illuminates the dining room. Piano jazz floats from the stereo. They sit next to each at the dining room table. “Who sits next to each other at the table in their own home? Man you got it bad MK.”

“Yes, I do. How can I kiss you between bites if you’re all the way on the other side?”

“Where did you come from?” she smiles and shakes her head at this man whose every action announces his love for her.

“I’m from another era Ms. Erotica; you brought me back to life.”

They bite, chew, swallow, kiss, and marvel at how perfect everything is: they repeat the process until their plates are clean, stomachs full, taste buds overflowing with a multitude of delectable tastes.

She insists on washing the dinner dishes. He insists on kissing her neck while drying every item she cleans. Dessert is saved for the movie they plan to watch after cleanup: “Love and Basketball.”

“I don’t care how many times I watch this movie, I still love it.”

“I have to agree MK. I like the innocence of her love. It never changes. It’s the perfect dream come true fairy tale. You think love can be like that?”

“Like what?” putting down the remote, he turns to face Ms. E on the couch.

“Innocent. Pure. Unscathed by the baggage we gather along the way to getting where we are now.”

“I want to say ‘yes’ because I want to believe in untarnished romantic love.”

“All my girlfriends say that guys have a harder time getting involved in new relationships after a break-up than girls do.”

“Do you agree?”

Chapter 8: Mexico

MK brings Ms. E some morning coffee and a surprising proposal. “Let’s go to Mexico.”

She interrupts her first sip almost choking on the steaming hot java, “what?”

“Let’s jump in your car and drive to Mexico. I know some great places. Come on, me and you on a road trip to secret places…it will be a blast.”

“Let me get something in my stomach first before I say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”

“It’s something I’ve fantasized about doing with you forever. All you have to do is pack a bag. I got it all planned.”

Before Ms. Erotica knows it, she and MK are in Mexico, a small town south of Ensenada. Off season and off the beaten path, it feels like they have the humble resort to themselves. Their room opens to a balcony overlooking the ocean and a long sandy beach where they’ve just returned from a leisurely walk: just them, the waves and a plethora of shells that she delights in picking up and showing him.

“This is amazing MK, I’m learning to not doubt you when you come up with suggestions that at first seem a bit much to me, this is glorious.” Every few steps they stop to take in the overflowing beauty of successive shared moments, the most beautiful element of it all being Ms Erotica.

After a full day enjoying a banquet of Mexican delights, they return to their room and dress for dinner. The evening is warm enough to where Ms. E can wear a dress and MK, a light shirt. She emerges from the bathroom stunning in a long white linen gown, two sides criss-cross over her chest like a robe, held together by a slender belt at her waist. The design cuts low enough across her chest to reveal a seductive hollow between her breasts. Below the belt, her gown parts to offer glimpses of her toned, glistening thigh. Red heels finish off the outfit.

“Wow! You are magnificent my dear.” He approaches and kisses the back of her hand. “Simply magnificent.”

“I have a surprise for you.” A coquettish smile spreads across her face. She parts her dress below her belt. A bright red thong matching the color of her shoes packages her pussy. “Would you like to take this off for me please?”

He kneels before her and ever so slowly slides the red lace garment over her delicious thighs. He leans forward to gather the scent of her and kisses the hood above her clitoris before taking her panty all the way off.

“Just me and this dress,” she says. “Nothing on underneath, all for you MK.”

“Thank you my love, I cherish the thought.” He tastes her panties before placing them on the dresser. “Let’s go eat otherwise I might try and keep you here so I can eat you all night.”

“Promises, promises,” she smiles.

He pauses to consider his options, runs his tongue along the bottom of his mustache tasting her essence that lingers on his lips and says “I will save you for dessert.”

They sit at a table atop an elevated patio. What little chill emerges from the evening air is countered by a fire burning in a pit close to her chair. The sun sets before them. Its colors radiate off of her ebullient cheeks. Red and golden tones dance with her smile.

He feeds Ms. E fresh lobster dripping with butter occasionally kissing what remains off her bottom lip. She straightens her legs and moves her chair closer to him. Her white dress parts all the way up her thighs. Her pussy is barely covered. She watches his eyes work their way up the path of her sculpted brown legs. “Go ahead MK,” she says, “touch me.”

His hand touches all of her it can. It follows the length of her exposed thighs and then extends the part in her gown ever so slightly to reveal her naked pussy. His beloved Ms. Erotica is wet. His fingers ply open her lips. She feeds him the last piece of lobster on her plate playfully rubbing it around his mouth, letting him taste it then pulling it back out. “Little bites,” she says. He does just that, savoring every last morsel before it disappears between his lips. Below the table she feels his finger disappear between hers.

A waiter clears their dishes and asks if they’re interested in dessert. “No, thank you,” he says, “We have some waiting upstairs.”

He leads her by the hand back to their room. “Now it’s my turn. I have some surprises for you,” he says.

Chapter 6: Revelations Part Two

He tells her about the erotic stories he’s written and Ms. E asks to see them. He takes her to his office and reads two of them aloud.

She sits on the guest bed, arms embracing her legs, eyes sparkling, smile radiant, more beautiful than any woman could possibly be at that moment.

“I love these stories My’Kuyah. The sex parts are good but it’s the love and caring in your words that moves me the most.” She pauses for a second and readjusts her position looking away for a quick second. “I want to feel like that woman in the story, the one you bathed, oiled and cuddled while she slept. I want to know what that’s like. I want to know that feeling of being loved the way that you loved the woman in your stories. Can you do that for me or is that being selfish?’

MK feels the universe’s door open wider. “Yes, I can do that for you and, no, you’re not being selfish at all. Just give me a couple of minutes.”

He makes a fire in the living room and puts some vintage Aretha on the stereo. Her voice fills his home with songs that he has imagined dancing to with Ms. E so many times he’s lost count. MK returns to lead his Sweet Beauty from the office to his front room, gives her a cup of hot tea and covers her with a blanket. The fire’s warmth and MK’s strong arms embrace her; he asks her to dance. Ms. E submits to MK’s request and lets him and Aretha whisk her away. Slowly, gently, almost imperceptibly he removes her clothing piece by piece, dropping them in a pile on the couch. It is one of those rare perfect moments when she lets herself get swept away by a man.

He slow dances her over to a quilt he has spread before the hearth and lays her face down upon it. A bottle of oil placed by the edge of the fire waits for them, nicely warm from the toasty flames. He rubs his oil laden hands together and caresses her fit naked brown body from head to toe. Leaning forward MK whispers in Ms. E’s ear, “your skin glistens before the fire like moonlight on black ice.”

His hands circle her ample curves, ride the slope of her bottom to her lower back and follow her spine to her shoulders and neck and then back to her bootie before moving to feel the tender insides of her thighs. Ms. E smiles, her hopes that his touch will find their way to her dripping wet pussy realized. He flirts with her moist red stripe for a minute and then returns to her ass. Ms. E cherishes the ride. MK grabs both cheeks and caresses them, squeezes them, loves them. Ms. E moans in response, “Fuck yes MK, this feels so damn good.”

He parts her golden thighs and kneels between them like he’s kneeling before something holy, as if he’s bowing before the bottom curves of her ass, kissing each cheek, slowly, deeply, silently giving thanks before cupping them into his mouth. “You have no idea how much I want you inside me MK.”

His face follows the same path his hands just finished: exploring, pausing to leave light kisses along the way. He kisses her shoulders, neck and ears and then straightens up to massage her entire backside finishing with her calves and feet sucking each toe before fucking the space between them with his tongue.

“What a beautiful, beautiful woman. Years of fantasy and dreams never got close to imagining the magnificence I now hold in my arms Ms. E.”

Chapter 6: Revelations

Ms. E sits next to My’Kuyah on his couch, her profile highlighted by a candle atop the mantle behind her. The flame’s reflection flickers off her pronounced brown cheeks.The flame and cheeks exchange hints of her smile. Her smile speaks of the depth of her Beauty like a shimmering sea reveals sunlight.

MK hangs on every word that emerges from her lips. All he wants is to be there at that moment alone with her simply listening to her every utterance, taking in each sound, imbibing each nuanced movement she offers. No more: Just that.

Their conversation covers prior relationships, one of those ‘getting to know each other’ talks. Ms. E tells him about one man in particular saying, ‘And he brought me to a dungeon,’ she pauses and looks directly at him and asks, ‘you know what a dungeon is, right?’

MK thinks to himself, ‘She can’t mean what I think she means, can she?’ He nods his head and says “yes” but, really, he’s not sure.

She continues on about the man and the dungeon. MK has to be certain he knows exactly what she means so he stops her for a second and says, “Just to be sure we’re thinking of the same thing, what do you mean by ‘dungeon?’”

“What do you think I mean?” Ms. E asks.

“S and M.”

“Yes, BDSM.”

“Good,” he says, “that’s what I thought you meant.”

His body shakes thinking of her in the context of a dungeon and he unpacks fantasies from each successive word she utters. When she says ‘whip’ MK sees her dressed scantily in a black garter belt and him holding one. When she says ‘BDSM’ he imagines her in tall platforms, leather collar around her neck, strong black legs and him straddling her as she lays tied up on the couch.

She tells him she’s “curious” and wanted to know more of what BDSM was all about and some pretender deigned to show her but he wanted to show a number of women at the same time and that wasn’t her style. She tells MK that she is 100% with such things; he could offer only 10% at best.

“He was a domme,” she says.

Chapter 4 part 4: Morning After

You’re alone and wearing a white gown. Sometimes it’s a wedding dress, sometimes not. It’s strapless, luminescent against your radiant brown skin. It hugs the contours of your glorious figure. I’m watching you get ready for an event, sometimes you’re completing final touches of makeup for your wedding, sometimes it’s your honeymoon night. You don’t know I’m there. I’m in a corner of the room, a shadow. You are looking at yourself in a mirror. The mirror is surrounded by lights. It’s the only illuminated spot in the room. You’re startled by movement behind you, a blur reflected over your shoulder in the mirror causes you to turn, somewhat alarmed, to see if anything or anyone might be lurking in the dark. As you cautiously search the room’s exteriors, I jump out and force my hand across your mouth. “Shhh”, I say, “it’s just me. I had to see you alone, just once.” Those are the last words we say.

You’re scared but soon calm down once you grasp it’s me. We kiss madly, hungrily. I reach around your shoulders and unzip your gown. I pull it down just enough to where your breasts dangle like a sacred offering above the line of the unfastened top. Your nipples grow hard as I rub the loosened bodice across them, swollen fruit ripe for the picking. I suckle each one. Drops of sweet nectar from your nipples fill my mouth and run down my chin.

I turn you around so you’re facing the mirror. You place your hands on the dressing table, lean forward and watch our reflection. I lift the hem of your dress over your bare bottom and proceed to eat your cheeks. Crushed soft berries the color and shape of your nipples drip down the crack of your perfect round bottom and I feast on the fruit of your ass. You want my dick inside you and I lubricate myself well with the juice from your breasts and the berries. My dick slides easily in and out of your receptive body. A kaleidoscope of colors engulfs us like flashing dance floor lights. You throw your head back and begin to breathe hard. Your ass is like a harvest bounty and I want to eat it and fuck it at the same time. In my mind I do. My hands surround your throat and hang on to your neck. Your ass anchors my dick. It feels like we’re flying and I’m the cape you wear.

I crave the taste of your pussy. It’s dripping wet like a freshwater spring. I take it whole into my mouth and I guzzle your nectar trying to satisfy a deep, unquenchable thirst. I can’t believe how good you taste, how good you feel, how stunningly beautiful you are and then, before I’m about to cum, I wake up, dick hard in my hand. Sometimes I just lie still and feel you pulsing through my arteries. Other times, I lotion my hand, close my eyes, picture you straddling me and stroke my dick until my hand fills with unrequited sperm. On the worse mornings I just lie there feeling a hole in my soul. That, I swear, is my dream.”

Ms. E cradles his head like she would a newborn and kisses his brow. “I love it, I love it a lot MK, but I have to tell you that you’re a sick man. Don’t worry you’re in luck because I’m a wicked woman. Let me tell you my dream.”

“I can’t wait to hear my dear.”

Chapter 4 part 3: Morning After

“I dream of moments like this,” she says, “but I never thought they’d ever come to be. So many times I wanted to call and talk. The only time I did, I’m sure you remember, was the night before your wedding. God, I felt so stupid.”

“What made you call that night of all nights, some sixth sense, coincidence?”

“I had a dream. I don’t remember the details; I only remember that you played a starring role and that I felt lovingly bathed in your warmth when I woke up. Something said to call and I did.”

“It’s a moment I’ve run over in my mind a million times: finally I got to hear your voice and then, bam, you asked me what I was doing. I wanted to be marrying you Ms. E. You know that, right? Your call confirmed what I knew in my gut, I was marrying

the wrong person. The marriage was a disaster. She ended up fucking any scoundrel with a dick and a wallet. The only good thing to come from it was my daughter.”

“We’ve been star crossed from the get go MK.”

“You’re right. We have been. I wanted so much to reach out to you but never did. It just didn’t seem fair or right or whatever. Instead, you became my virtual lover, the lovely Ms. Erotica starring in all my best dreams. I’d be disoriented for days just

moping around wanting the real you after one of your nocturnal visits.”

“I like that, virtual lover, that’s what you’ve been for me, too. You know how many times I’ve masturbated thinking of you? I affectionately called my favorite vibrator ‘Kuyah.’ Wore that damn thing out! It wasn’t like I didn’t have lovers. I did. And it’s not like

they weren’t good, but there was always something missing, always this empty space that I thought maybe I was saving for you; other times I just thought it was the price I paid for turning my back on what I knew was real love. Tell me about those

dreams dear ‘Kuyah. What was the box office favorite?”

“That’s easy, it’s a dream I still have and, to be honest, I want to act it out with you sometime.”

“Mmmm…sounds kinky sweet man. What kind of girl do you think I am MK?”

“I don’t quite know yet but after finding my dick in your benevolent pussy outdoors, in a public place, with your beautiful brown ass in a tree, I think you might like what I’m about to tell you.”

“You have my undivided attention, My’Kuyah, lay some of your salacious imagination on me.”

“With pleasure, my dear Ms. E. It always starts like this…”

Chapter 4 part 2: Morning After

Ms. Erotica feels him tense and rubs her hand across his chest. “It’s OK baby. I don’t want you to feel bad, I’ve just always wondered.”

MK’s jaw tightens. Her kisses loosen words from his pursed lips. “I didn’t plan on telling you, ever.” A deep breath allows him to gather his thoughts before he decides to proceed with his story. “I was going to tell you that I had received a fellowship to do

some research and writing in LA. I was going to move there so I could be with you.”

Silence hangs heavy between them.

She grabs fistfuls of her hair. “You’re fucking kidding me. Let me get this straight, you were going to be with me in LA,” her words spurt out as a statement, not a question.

“Yes. I couldn’t wait to tell you.”

“But when I told you about Mr. Man…”

“I decided not to ruin your party.”

“Did you turn the fellowship down?”

“What else could I do? You had your own life to live and it was eminently clear that you were well on your way. The look in your eyes when you told me that you met someone, well, I knew that I needed to let you be.”

“So you never told me. Oh my God.”

“And I planned to never tell you.”

“Oh my God.” Tears seep down her sumptuous brown cheeks. “Oh my sweet man, I get so sad when I think about how much we lost. All these years apart when it didn’t have to be…Let me love you old man.” She rocks him in her arms. Their tears

meet at the juncture of their lips. “Let me love you dear man for every minute we missed, for every minute we have left. Let me love you sweet, sweet man.”

She makes love to him: soft, slow, gentle love. His body shudders at her touch, quakes with every kiss. For hours she tenderly exorcises demons long buried in his soul. He feels re-born.

Chapter 4 part 1: Morning After

Late morning, Ms. Erotica rolls over greeted by his chest hair tickling her nipples. “What time do we have to check out?”

“We don’t.”

“What?” Her right eye cracks open ever so slightly.

“I extended our stay for another night. Will that work for you?”

“Hmmm, I will make it work. Let me make a few calls first. OK?”

“No problem. I’ll go get us something to eat.” MK searches for his pants in the pile of last night’s passion. “I’ll pick up a couple of toothbrushes while I’m at it.”

“You are a smart man indeed, My’Kuyah.”

He returns with a complete breakfast for two, a couple of toothbrushes and a small tube of toothpaste.

Adorned in a white terry cloth robe, Ms. Erotica bounds across the room to meet him. “I’m yours dear man. I was able to move some things around until tomorrow.” She helps him with the food, unbuttons his pants and takes his dick between her lips.

“Mmmm, tastes like me.” Her tongue draws him deeper into her mouth until it feels like she will swallow him whole. Before he knows it, MK is weak in the knees, panting and filling Ms. E’s mouth with his ecstasy.

She leads him to their newly made bed and feeds him. Every morsel is followed with kisses. MK licks her fingers clean, bites her nipples and sips nectar from between her parted legs. Again they make love and drift into an early afternoon slumber. The

color of her golden brown ear brings a tingle to his dick; the naps of hair on her neck make him hard. He buries his erection between her ass cheeks as they fall blissfully to sleep.

She awakens to find him staring at her face, tears in the corner of his eyes. “What’s wrong baby?”

“Nothing, nothing at all. I was just taking you in assuring myself that all of this is real.”

“And were you successful?”

“Indeed. It’s beautifully real sweet woman, beautifully, magically real.”

They spend the next couple of hours sipping juice and talking about their previous 24, laughing uproariously at the image of themselves fucking in the tree, at the clothes desperately strewn around the room. Eventually they begin to talk about the past

and what might have been.

“Remember when I told you about the man I met at dinner way back when?”

“Ugh, how could I ever forget?”

“Before I dropped that bomb, and I’m sorry…he turned out to be a complete asshole with a stable of star struck innocent things like me, what a mistake that was, but that’s another story…anyway, you said you had something to tell me. But you never

did. I don’t think I ever gave you the chance. What was it?”

Chapter 3 Part 2:

“The last fucking time for what?” Her voice startles him out of his funk.

“It’s you. Right on time.”

“It is indeed me in all my glory. Sorry I’m late.”

He looks away hoping to mask the emotions that are boiling inside.

The late and lovely Ms. E places her hand on his. “I am truly sorry my dear man. This is not how I wanted our evening to start. Please forgive me.”

He doesn’t want to grant forgiveness. He wants to vent anger. The wine wants anger. The gut wrenching hour of anxious waiting wants to yell “fuck you” and walk away. He wants to scream “it’s ruined, it’s over, I don’t want to let you make me feel like

this ever again” but he doesn’t.

“I love you old man. I really do and I truly am sorry. Let’s get this right. I’m going inside, sit at our favorite spot and act like I’m the first one to arrive. If you would like to join me, I’d be thrilled. If not, I’ll understand.” She kisses his forehead and walks

toward their designated spot. It remains empty.

“He just left,” the waitress announces from behind the bar. “Here,” she hands over what’s left of the roses, “I believe these are for you.” Tears unexpectedly gather at the corners of her eyes. She turns and runs for the door and surveys the area for any

sign of him. The chair in the sun is empty. His cigar sits in an ash tray on the ground. “Oh no, don’t go, please wherever you are, don’t go.”

Ms. E runs down the path to the main parking lot. No sign of him. Her eyes scour the horizon to no avail. She slouches back to the chair—not a trace.

“I thought you were meeting me inside.”  It’s MK!

“Oh my god, you’re still here? My dear man, I thought I’d lost you.”

“Just had to use the men’s room.”

She can only laugh, “Of course.” They wrap up in each other’s arms. “Please don’t ever walk away without me, ever. Promise me that. Never again.”

“I’m right here,” he says, “I’m not going anywhere without you.”

An extended embrace seals their promise. The rest of the world falls away. With tiny steps they move to the shade of a nearby tree. She leans back against the trunk and wraps her legs around his hips.  Twenty five years of unrequited love explode in

crazed kisses.  Tree limbs seal their embrace, leaves quake with their passion.

“Fuck me now, right here,” she manages to eke out her words between urgent breaths. She reaches under her dress and pulls her thong to the side. “Let me feel you inside me MK!”

With one hand he continues to hold her close, with the other he unzips his pants and unleashes his hungry desire. She grabs it and plunges him into her yearning pussy.  A loud moan follows. “You have no idea how many nights I dreamed of your dick

inside me.  Every other part of you has been with me since I left, everything but your body.” She leans back into the crotch of the tree lifting her hips to meet his penetrations pulling him as far into her as she can. “Oh my fucking god.”  The tree shudders

with every thrust as if its limbs are caught in a blustery dance with an unexpected wind.

“Get a room.” A voice from behind breaks their extended reverie and reminds them of their whereabouts.

“Good idea,” he whispers in reply. “I reserved us one in the hotel.”

MK lifts her from the tree.  She locks her feet around his waist. They waltz in coital embrace to the hotel leaving ecstatic moans in their wake. First down the hill, then up the stairs to the room, they make love with every step, pausing for mad kisses and

deeper coupling every 10 paces. He struggles to get the key out of his pocket managing only to drop it on the floor. “Hell with it.” He leans her against the corridor wall and they continue to devour each other. Paintings shake.  A door opens two rooms

away. They fall to the floor. He’s able to grab the key, get it into the lock and shove open their door. They fuck their way into the room and kick the door closed behind them.  Clothes fly everywhere. They taste, bite, suck, kiss, lick, squeeze, pinch,

caress, penetrate every pore, every orifice, every curve of each other’s naked bodies moving from the floor to the bed, the bed to the wall, the wall to the tub, the tub back to the bed where they coo and catch their breath. Their lovemaking goes on all

night, sometimes quiet, gentle kisses, other times roaring, ecstatic exclamations of joy until they finally fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s skin.  He awakens before daybreak to find his valiant dick hanging on to the rim of her rectum. He nuzzles her

kitchen, smiles at the sound of her contented purrs and prays for the night to never end.

Chapter 3 part one: Second Chances

He lies on his back and sucks in deep gulps of air. Pronounced exhales whistle past pursed lips.  “What the fuck am I doing?” His dog rises from a deep slumber at the foot of the bed and glances his way awaiting an answer. “I don’t quite know old

buddy,” is the best he can offer.  It’s enough for the dog who is quickly back to chasing wild creatures in his dreams.

Daylight can’t come soon enough. He’s on edge—too much caffeine, too much wanting her. He sticks to his regular routine.  Hot green tea followed by three hours of writing, breakfast and then he takes his patient dog for a long walk.

He worries about what to wear and then smiles.  When worries reduce to mundane questions about what to wear the world is good. His eyes lift from the ground and behold the sky. He considers the geese circling overhead and feels the east wind bite

his cheeks.  The day calls for roses, the darkest red he can find, something befitting the woman who monopolizes every moment of his thoughts, the lovely Ms. Erotica.

Three p.m. approaches. Lines from a Raymond Carver poem run through his mind as he closes in on their meeting place: “Fear of being late and fear of arriving before anyone else.”  He’s early. Not good, he doesn’t want to sit alone at a table with a

dozen roses waiting for her to show. She won’t be on time.  Hell, she might not even show.

3:10. Perfect. A parking spot opens close to the front of the establishment. He gathers his coat, the flowers, his courage and opens the door. The room is dark. His eyes take a minute to adjust. Their spot behind the pot bellied stove is unoccupied.

“Fuck!” He fights an overwhelming urge to leave but thinks better of it and claims a seat. A waitress comes over and he orders a bottle of red wine, two glasses.

“You must be My’Kuyah,” she says.

“Must I be?” a feeble attempt at humor that gets no response.

“I have a message for you; your party will be late. She said she’s caught in traffic.”

“Thanks.” He forces a smile and awaits the wine. A half of bottle later, still no show. The roses, too close to the wood stove, wilt, much like his spirit.  45 minutes late and counting. He decides to give her until 4:00 and pours himself another glass of wine.

Bewitching time. The bottle of wine is spent along with his patience. He gets up to pay his bill and leave. “These are for you.” He hands the roses to the waitress and heads for the door. The late afternoon sun is blinding. He’s light headed from the wine and squints towards the parking lot. The last thing he wants to do is drive home. A chair enveloped in a pool of sunshine and invites him to sit. It’s the best offer he’s had all afternoon. He obliges, lights a cigar and closes his eyes to the sun feeling its warmth mix with the wine and cigar across his cheeks.

A cavalcade of crashed romantic endeavors rushes through his mind.  A familiar despair settles over him along with a second line from Carver, “Fear of waking up to find you gone.”

“This is the last fucking time,” he mutters to himself.


Chapter 2: First Good bye

They agreed to meet at three behind the pot bellied stove. Nerves jangled his judgment throughout the day. Simple decisions grew complicated: what should he wear; would his good bye gift be too much; when should he tell her his good news?

He arrived early, a bit too early, early to the point where doubt seized every opportunity to unravel his excitement. Ms. E arrived late, radiant, but late. “Sorry MK, traffic…” She kissed him on the cheek and then sat down across from him. They ordered drinks and chatted, warmed by each other’s presence, warmed by the fire of the stove. This was their spot—hidden, away, quiet, a place where they could just be two ordinary people enjoying each other’s company, a place where they could simply be alone.

Animated conversation ensued. Laughter punctuated engaging stories. She wore a form-fitting simple black dress that accentuated every graceful movement of her gloriously fit body. A silver necklace pressed against her breasts and grazed over her nipples each time she swayed with laughter or lifted an arm to emphasize a point. “This is glorious,” he remembered saying to himself, “absolutely glorious.”

His mind went to the first time he saw her naked in the pictures she sent online. He got aroused remembering the golden globe of her right breast, erect brown nipple standing at attention in the middle of an eminently delicious areola; her womanhood hanging between golden thighs as she squatted in her bathroom for a selfie. Oh how he wanted to dive between those parted legs and taste her delight; oh how he wanted to do the same at that very moment!

They sauntered down the hill to a restaurant where reservations at a secluded table awaited. A familiar hostess seated them and brought a bottle of wine he had ordered in advance, an Oregon pinot noir, the one that made the state’s wine industry famous. They each tasted the small sip offered by the waiter for their approval. Her broad smile said it all: scrumptious, so good you want to drink it with a spoon. He poured them both a glass and they toasted. “To us.” They clinked glasses and savored deep drinks of the nectar they held in their hands.
“I have to tell you something,” he said after setting his wine glass back on the table.

“I need to tell you something first,” she said.

“OK, you go first. What is it?”

“You know I went down to LA to interview for a position with a film company, well, I got the job!”

“That’s wonderful. Great news, way to go! I never had a doubt. Another toast!”

They raised their glasses and drank heartily.

“And that’s not all,” her look indicated something big was to follow.

“I’m on the edge of my seat; you found a place to live?”

She inched closer to the table. “I met a man.”

The world as he knew it, as he wanted it to be, fell away. The table began to spin. There was not enough room in his body for both her words and for air. He felt sick.

“You OK?” she asked.

“A bit too much wine in that last toast,” he scrambled to regain his composure like a boxer trying to make it to the bell after suffering a first round knockout blow. Feigning a cough he grabbed a glass of water sitting untouched next to his wine and gulped half of it down. “I’ll be OK.” He didn’t want to know the answer to the question he was about to pose. “Who is this lucky man?” Each word deadened his soul. He felt himself drift away.

His reaction didn’t dampen her palpable excitement. She described a Hollywood Don Juan: sleek, blinged out, a man on the make poised to chew up the most beautiful woman My’Kuyah knew.  The rest of the evening was a blur. He never gave her his gift; never shared his good news. Reality ambushed his dreams and left town in her backseat. He tossed them all away when he kissed her good bye.

For years he chastised himself. He should have known better. He never should have fallen in love with a younger woman, never should have indulged in fanciful dreams about her, never should have created a future based around his puppy dog feelings.  And now she’s back along with every feeling he’d fought to keep suppressed for the last quarter century.

A persistent nightmare returns along with her. No matter how he tries he can’t make it go away. They’re together: happy, laughing, about to make love. Something happens, different things in different versions of the dream. Tonight’s has him getting up to blow out a candle. When he turns back to kiss her, she’s gone.

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Chapter 1: A Song of Beatific Erotica

Thank you W.S. Merwin

He lies between her thighs; his face inches from her most sacred place and takes in every detail. He sees her beauty in the nuanced delicacy of her brown sugar lips and his quest for Erotica begins with that single simple detail. The detail hangs like a musical note in the air, a solitary note so resonant that it makes his heart ache, a note so rich he never wants it to end. When it does he pines to hear it again. To his delight, the single note is accompanied by another and the new note enhances and extends the initial sound. Such is her beauty.  A single detail, glistening moisture gathered on delicate lips, echoes between golden thighs and leads to orchestral splendor. Each time is like the first time his eyes beheld her, naked, lying before him offering herself entirely at that moment and she let him breathe her touch her taste her; each time offering more details, more notes. The notes blend into a melody; the melody into a song; the song into a symphony. The symphony is a concert celebrating her beauty and it vibrates through him, touches the untouched recesses of his soul and leaves him with a simple single utterance: oh my God how I love this heartbreakingly beautiful symphony of a woman, my Beautiful Ms. Erotica.

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