Married for over 12 years, they initially dated and lived together for four.  Over the course of those 16 years, Marcus and Vee enjoyed a very hot sexual relationship.  “We made love every day: when we got up, when we went to bed and if we got lucky, we snuck in a little afternoon delight. We couldn’t get enough of each other.  Then Marcus got diagnosed with prostate cancer…” James, a former NFL player, confided that he used “to get rock hard and stay that way all night.”  He balled his hand into a fist and extended his forearm up at a 90 degree angle from his elbow, “my shit hasn’t gotten hard like that in a long time.” “Prostate issues?”  I asked. He lowered his fist and took a sip of his drink.  He didn’t have to say “yes.”  

ED and Self Doubt

  Marcus doubted his manhood. “When your dick ain’t getting hard for 13 months, let’s face it, you start to have doubts.  I was afraid that Vee would look for something else and, to tell you the truth, I don’t blame her.” James’ wife doubted herself, “Even though I knew it was the medication causing the problem, I couldn’t help but think I was the problem; that I wasn’t sexy enough, that I was doing something wrong.  Thank God we were able to talk about it.” A growing number of couples share variations of the same story, and all are in search of the same thing, some sexual healing.  

Learning to Talk

  “You must communicate.  Vee was incredibly patient with me.  The one thing we didn’t want to lose was our physical intimacy.  She understood that I needed to please her.  I needed to know that I could still give her pleasure and Vee wanted to pleasure me, too.  That was a challenge, so much so that we started to explore other ways of being sexual.” Marcus paused for a moment, deciding just how much information he wanted to share.  “Things changed for the better when she brought home a strap-on, it opened up new doors. Little did we know that there was a whole world of sexual pleasure out there that we had no idea existed.”