You’re in Bed with Your Lover
You’re in Bed with Your Lover
Imagine you’re In bed with your lover. Thus, you put into action what you’ve just learned from Deb Stambula and Tracy Gnojek, co-owners of Love Flourishes. One partner sits atop the other. Their legs wrap around the hips of the person upon whom they rest.
You gaze into each other’s eyes. When one inhales the other exhales creating a breathing loop. Meanwhile, you’re struck by how relaxed you feel despite the energy building between the two of you.
It’s the Yab-Yum position.
Bonded by your breathing and your bodies, your intent is to please each other. You touch places you may have touched before but have now learned to touch in a new way. Soon thereafter, you find yourself in a place that you always hoped to find but now realize you never knew the way to get there.
This is Tantra yoga
Tantra is one branch of an ancient practice of yoga that originated in India over 5,000 years ago. Popularly thought of as an activity that was less about exercise and fitness, it is about something quite different. More accurately, Tantra is about sharpening mental focus and expanding spiritual energy.
Over time many different yoga practices developed throughout India. Eventually, they were filtered down to six to eight distinct styles. The most common style is Hatha yoga which includes Ashtanga, Vinyasa and Bikram. “Hatha combines postures with breathing exercises for the purpose of bringing peace to the mind and body in preparation for deeper practices like meditation.” (Deb)
Tantra yoga is one of those deeper practices. Originally, it was a way to ready a couple for the consummation of a relationship. Tantra “is about ceremony, ritual, and consecrated sexuality; a celebration of divine feminine energy referred to as Shakti.” (Deb)
The style of Tantra Deb and Tracy practice remains true to its origins. Their style “is one that emphasizes energy and connection; connection to ourselves, to others, to nature and the Divine.” (Deb)
The Tantra Dance
They describe sexual intimacy like a dance. In a sense, Love Flourishes teaches people new moves. Tracy wonders “Have we stayed with the same moves?” She finds that many couples have and are stuck repeating the same thing over and over to their own detriment. To make it worse, “Often what one partner likes, the other dislikes. Adding a repertoire of dances enhances one’s encounter and keeps things not only lively but alive.” (Tracy)
“It’s simple. All Tantra practice is built on the scaffolding model. You start with basic yoga, basic breath, and basic energy practice. As your acuity grows, so does the length and complexity of the practice. Conversely, so does the depth, breadth, and intensity of your sexual/sensual experience.” (Deb)
You develop conscious sexuality. “Through physical movement, learned breath patterns, and practice, we can gain greater unity in sex. Overall, everyone has to be willing to be open to exploring beyond their conditioned thinking and the norms of their everyday life. It can mean entering into something that feels uncomfortable and seeing if what they experience is something they want more of or not.”
Back To The Bed
Let’s turn our focus back to the bed. You’ve transitioned from Yab-Yum to Downward Dog (think doggy style) and then to Happy Baby (a more active missionary position). Your breathing remains unified. The purpose of pleasuring your partner and receiving the gift of their pleasuring you remains intact. You find yourselves heading towards climax, inhaling in unison.
As you exhale together, a shared orgasm erupts from your connected loins. Pleasure reverberates throughout the length of your body. A joyful expression of common delight from somewhere deep within seems to go on forever.
You find yourself in that place that you’ve always hoped you’d find and discovered that Tantra was the way there.