Mature women and sexual fantasy, is it alive and well?
Yes! You better believe mature women over 50 still fantasize, but when it comes to eroticism, like any age group, those fantasies depend upon a number of factors. Things you’d expect like:
- Marital status
- If you still have kids living at home
- Religious views
- Whether or not intimacy is a priority
These are just a few of the factors that can determine whether or not mind fucking still happens behind closed eyes.
Gender is at the top of the above list for a reason. AARP notes that more than half of men in their 50’s have sexy thoughts; for women the same age it’s only 12%. Both groups experience a steady decline over the next two decades until age 70 when women hit rock bottom with only 1% still entertaining erotic fantasies while a hopeful one out of every four men are hanging on for dear life to their salacious thoughts.
A Wide Spectrum of Sexual Fantasy
Like a majority of women, friends with whom I’ve spoken, have been willing to share their innermost desires. They cover a wide spectrum from the wild:
- Hang from a chandelier while my significant other eats me out
- Do a headstand with a full middle split while my man pumps me from above (hopefully not breaking my neck in the process)
- Parachuting naked with my lover, fucking each other as we slowly descend down to earth
To the more sedate but no less adventurous:
- Sex with a stranger, I never see their face
- Celebrity sex in a luxurious setting
- Sex with a long lost love, sometimes we’re still young, sometimes not
- Threesomes with either men or women with the same result: simultaneous orgasms from different places on my body
- Dominating or being dommed, lots of bondage
To the fantasies of my single friends:
- If I’m involved sexually, I’ll give time to fantasize a little before and after we have sex.
- Most times it’s a fleeting thought that goes in and goes out, at least there’s something going in and out. There’s often not time to sit and daydream because other things take priority and if I’m not involved with anyone why give space to that when I know I’m not going to have sex anyway?
- Menopause has kicked in, so sex is not that important. This includes masturbation and fantasizing.
- Fantasizing and using my imagination during masturbation is great. But it’s always better when you have the real thing.
- Life is too busy for me to think about sex right now, sorry.
And from my married friends:
- When my husband does the little things like: wink at me, surprise me with a gift, look at me in a seductive way when I’m fussing at him, sends me a love message or note or when I watch him do simple things like take out the trash, my imagination runs wild.
- Menopause and life circumstances get in the way of fantasizing. There’s no time for it, I barely have time to fuck my husband on a regular basis because I’m generally so damn tired.
- I fantasize often because sex is not that intriguing with my partner. There’s hardly any sex at all, I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t fantasize.
- My spouse, a female, sometimes uses a strap on and as I’ve aged, I find myself periodically fantasizing about a man when she’s fucking me with the strap on. Of course, I’d never tell her that.
- Loss of estrogen due to menopause. I give no thought to sex.
- I gave no thought either but hormone replacement helped significantly.
So, in answer to my opening question, yes, many women still do have sexual fantasies, all kinds of fantasies, but like most things when you’re aging, it’s different, somewhat like a candle with a flickering flame.
What’s at stake in keeping those erotic dreams burning?
Let me share what one couple told me and I’ll let you, my readers, decide.
“My spouse and I are in our late 60’s and we are experiencing sex like never before; things that we never considered or knew about given our conservative upbringing. Sex just gets better and better, both of us fantasize and often exchange our fantasies with one another to see if they can become a reality. To our great delight, many have.”